My Greatest Love
Every new day, Your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes, with Your treasures untold,
The beauty of holiness bring worship anew,
My greatest love is You...
Call me deeper, into Your grace,
The river that flows from the holy place,
Wash over me, cleansing me through,
My greatest love is You
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
-4:50 AM
The place led me to Christ.
The place was my family.
The place was my refuge.
The place was my home.
Not anymore.
It's funny sometimes how we lose our focus on the Lord over small things in life. Lately I don't see The Place as my refuge and shelter anymore, instead it came out as an obligation to me, or maybe to a certain extent, my burden. When I see that something is wrong or when certain parties are drifting away from the focus, of course I am obligated to speak my mind. Though many would see me as a rebel in the group, I am just stating the facts and the obvious, but who am I to say anything? Ambitions are ambitions, but let's not forget the reality that we're not spiritually equipped to do certain things. As of late, I feel like I'm contributing to a performance rather than a worship session. I need to stop and I want to stop, but circumstances doesn't avail that option to me.
Opinions rejected, often ignored. Why would anyone listen to a rebel anyway? Oh, maybe my heart is not right when I contributed my opinion? And please don't tell me it's influence from my friend, I have my own thoughts.
Enough is enough, I need to get away from all this, it's stumbling me greatly.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
-11:15 AM
Yeap, college starts next Monday~! Woohoooo *applause* and yes my 3 months of bumming around is gonna end pretty soon but I can't say it's a very well spent holiday or something. The 3rd chapter of his life ended and I think the one whom I should not leave out is of course God. We have a very complicated relationship, but He was there all the time, be it walking down the highway, or questioning Him, we still had this unbreakable bond.... I tried to break that bond, like seriously, but He is the one thing I wouldn't erase from my book. He is the air that kept filled my lungs when I'm tired of running the race, He is the water that nourished me when I'm all dried out from all the attacks. As a worship leader, I have to admit, there were times I stole the limelight from God during worship sessions. There's a reason why I refused to go up during ROCK Sundays, when everyone in the church has their eyes on me, I tend to get carried away with pride and I don't want that, all I want is to serve Him and the congregation, I want to be the sturdy bridge that brings people into the presence of God, I don't want performances, I DON'T want to be a part of if it.... Unless it's really a performance then I'd be more than happy to help out( I'd do jazz by the way :P) But NO! Sometimes it's so much easier to worship when all the instruments are stripped away! I mean, good vocals or skills with the instruments doesn't mean you're the focus of the worship, you're NOT it!
Okay...I'll stop judging but yeah sorry...lol.... But God did shower me with blessings, the people in my life are just irreplaceable. The partners are always there to help me grow.... A great Youth Director, Ruth Kon , total Jesus freak! A brother to talk to even he's studying abroad. Ashley, the person that I'd most probably seek advice from and she's like a sister I've never had. The friends of course, the movie peeps( You know who you are XD), the people in the worship team....You guys ROCK!!! And to another close friend, I'm glad we're able to move on as friends given the history we've shared...( I hope you don't see me as your gay friend :S ) Butttt there's always ups and downs and this particular person annoys me....we used to have a close relationship but till recently...things have been quite sour between us...I mean come on!I have availed myself as a listener to your hardships countless times but you kept pushing me away from your life! How are we gonna make this work?! What's the point of going on with this masquerade of deception? Just end this stupid relationship, I say...because I'm tired of your emotional traumas and not able to be there for you.
The music part.... Now that's a crucial part of my life, especially the jazz! it's one of the reasons I took up vocal lessons other than glorifying God of course. It's one of my aspirations, it's part of what I wanted to be, even the industry's hard and jazz isn't quite the tune for the people of my age...lol.... But it is part of my dreams and the part of me being objective tells me that it's impossible and stuff. But what the heck, it's my passion!
Soooooo......... A new chapter begins! No more third person writing for me!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
-5:15 AM
A friend of his came to him with this question. It seemed an easy question but he thought - Why not be honest with yourself ? If he were to spill all of his frustrations towards Jesus in his life, blogging it wouldn't be sufficient, that answer could fill a book.
Who is Jesus to him?
It is personal!